1. It’s bloody big
Chances are you’ve seen a map. And if you haven’t then I suggest you do before you plan a holiday to Australia. Because it’s big. It’s bloody big, mate. Many people underestimate their travels and the time it takes between destinations so if you plan a trip here make sure you really pay attention to the distance.If you think you can conquer the whole thing in a week, you’re mad.
2. And it’s ridiculously hot
The sun in Australia is set to ‘Dante’s level of inferno,’ meaning you will get sunburnt if you lay out in the sun all day. Seriously, no Aussie is actually tan because we legit cannot go outside half the time it is that stinking hot. It’s incredibly important you wear sunscreen, cover up, wear a hat. You also need to stay hydrated or you’ll get heatstroke- a very real thing here!
3. Swear words aren’t really swear words
We’re real casual with the swear words in Aus so if someone calls you something that’s considered incredibly offensive in your home country, it’s important to focus on the person’s body language, not the words spoken. This will help you work out whether or not they really think you’re actually a fuckwit, cos, chances are they’ve just complimented you.
4. There are plenty of things that can kill you
Did you know that 21 out of the 25 most venomous snakes in the world call Australia home? As do an alarming number of other murderous creatures! We’ve got sharks, spiders of all shapes and sizes, killer jellyfish so small you can’t see them, dingoes, crocodiles, fish, bees, octopus and toads and even a shell with a little creature inside that’ll definitely kill you if trodden on (this is literally the reason I cannot go to the beach). There are even giant birds that’ll mow you down and beat you up in the rainforest if they feel like it. There’s legit no creature in this country that isn’t occasionally murderous! Beware!
5. We’re really sarcastic and joke around… a lot
We’re definitely a sarcastic bunch and we love to joke around and have fun. We especially love to get one over on tourists and have a laugh at their expense, so keep your wits about you or you’ll be eating spoonfuls of Vegemite and trying to protect yourself against drop bears.
6. Our traditional foods are weird
Unlike other countries we don’t really have traditional dish… instead, we have a weird assortment of foods we consider classics. Things like meat pies and sausage rolls seem to be staples as well as vegemite toast, tim tams, lamingtons and the like. To be honest, that most traditional of Aussie meal would probably have to be the simple snag on bread from Bunnings (essentially just a sausage you buy outside a hardware store). Weird? I know right.
7. Conservation is pretty important
I’d like to think there’s a big focus on the environment down here. While we aren’t perfect, Aussies are pretty good at things like recycling and not leaving our rubbish behind to get swept into waterways. There is a lot of emphasis on protecting the reef and our precious wildlife so when you’re visiting please be respectful of our beautiful country and don’t do anything that could have an adverse impact on the environment or the animals that call it home.
8. We don’t actually ride Kangaroos everywhere
I’ve had way too many people ask me if this is true. No, we do not ride kangaroos. However, I do actually know someone who has a Kangaroo as a pet and there was once one in my backyard so…
9. For a country that is so young, we have such an incredible history!
If you’re visiting Australia, I highly recommend you visit places where you can see, experience and learn about Australia’s Indigenous history and the Indigenous culture too. Hearing Dreamtime stories will change the way you look at Australia as the stories are truly beautiful and fill you with wonder. I also think it’s really important to learn about what happened to the Indigenous culture after the Captain Cook landing. Taking the time to acknowledge the traditional owners of the land and learning about their story will give you a deeper understanding of Australia’s history.
10. Our slang is basically its own language
Yeah… definitely scrub up on your Aussie language because you’ll need it. Check out my guide to speaking Aussie here.
11. Our motto is “it’s happy hour somewhere in the world.”
Australians will literally drink at any time of the day and not feel bad about it.
Prepare your liver before coming!